Posted on July 22, 2009

Rewriting the beginning of THE HOLE

While going through my editor’s comments on the manuscript of THE HOLE, I kept coming back to the same conclusion: I’m just not that happy with the way the book begins.  Aside from a handful of awkward moments, most of the plot problems throughout the novel are a direct result of things that are said or events that occur in the first twenty or thirty pages.  So I made the decision to rewrite them.  In doing so, I get to tweak some stuff that’s bothered me about the book, such as the status of Elliot and Evajean’s relationship and their motivation for setting out on their quest.

It’s something of an adventure plugging a new section into a completed manuscript.  Matching the language, for one, is interesting.  THE HOLE is written is a spare, crime fiction inspired style, and it’s a little different from the short fiction I’ve worked on recently.  So I’m having to rewire brain to get back in that flow.

Below is a taste of what I’ve come up with.  For the rest, you’ll just have to wait until the book is released by Permuted Press.  Still no date set for that happy day, but I’ll post here as soon as there is.

And now, the new first two-hundred words of THE HOLE:

Elliot sat on the front steps of his house and sipped a warm Dr. Pepper as he watched his neighbor drag her husband’s corpse to the curb. He hadn’t realized the woman was still alive. Elliot set the can down and stood up.  He walked across the lawn toward her.  “Need help?” he called. She turned her head.  She stared at him.  Elliot smiled and lifted his arm in a half-hearted wave.  He said, “You want me to help you?”  He’d kept walking and she was now only a handful of paces away.  He said, “Evajean, right?  Your name’s Evajean?” She nodded.  The dead man’s wrists looked huge in her small hands. “I’m Elliot,” he said.  “I live next door.”  He looked down at the body.  “Where are you taking him?” “Away,” she said. Elliot said, “Okay.  I’ll help.  If he’s too heavy for you, I’ll help carry him.” She nodded.  “Yeah,” she said.  “Okay.” So Elliot took the large man’s ankles and, together, they moved him to an old Subaru parked in front of Evajean’s house.  She pulled keys from her pocket, unlocked the car, and lifted hatchback.  “In here,” she said.